I’ve had to learn along my healing journey that if I don’t set proper monthly goals and review them, it becomes hard to track my progress. But it isn’t so much about the goals themselves; it’s about improving the relationship I have with myself and putting measures in place that hold me accountable to stages in my healing journey. It’s about having an honest check-in that isn’t self-critical, but instead offers a soft place to ask myself deep questions that uncover how I may be delaying my healing.
And for women who are healing – emotionally, mentally, spiritually – that check-in moment matters. Because healing isn’t linear, and it definitely doesn’t follow the same timeline as hustle culture. It moves in seasons. Cycles. Waves.
Monthly goal setting aligned with your healing journey isn’t about forcing productivity or trying to “fix yourself.” It’s about creating goals that actually support you — your nervous system, your energy, your boundaries, your becoming.
This is the kind of goal setting that honors where you are, not where you think you “should” be.
What Monthly Goal Setting Really Means (Beyond Productivity)
Often, the word goal can set off alarms or trigger you to feel like you need to show up and be your best self, or that anything you do beyond what is in the process of achieving the goal is a failure. I want to stop you and say that can not be any further from the truth.
We’re conditioned to set goals, achieve them, move on, and set new goals – achieve those, so on and so forth. We rarely take the time to reflect on the progress we’ve made or celebrate the “small” wins we’ve experienced.
It’s important to remember: your goals do not define you. Instead, let your goals guide you on how you show up every day.
Society teaches us to create fixed goals, with little room for nuance, and tailor them around efficiency, output, and impact. However, what if our goals aren’t tied to any transformative results, aren’t data-driven, and aren’t meant to transform us?
That’s why it’s important to define your goals in a way that works for you, not against you.
Why Traditional Goal Setting Can Feel Misaligned During Healing
When you think of the word goal, what kind of feeling does it evoke within you?
For many of us, there’s an underlying pressure to set goals that reflect an ideal version of ourselves. But what happens when we don’t reach them? Feelings of failure, comparison, doubt, and unworthiness can quietly creep in.
Healing doesn’t move in a straight line, and there is no simple path from point A to point B. Because of that, goal-setting within a healing journey can feel like an oxymoron. You may have a vision for your future self, but if the process of getting there is rooted in stress, burnout, or guilt, it can feel like you’re working against yourself rather than supporting your growth.
Often, when humans self-sabotage their goals, it isn’t because they don’t want them or don’t believe in themselves. More often, it’s the brain trying to protect what feels familiar — the normal state it’s grown used to. Change, even when it’s positive, can feel threatening. That’s why setting goals and actually working toward them can feel so hard.
During your healing phase, the goal isn’t just achievement — it’s building self-trust and self-worth while staying compassionate with yourself. The way you pursue your goals matters just as much as the goals themselves
A Gentle Approach to Monthly Goal Setting That Honors Your Capacity
When you begin brainstorming monthly goals, start by visualizing how your ideal self shows up in everyday life. Focus less on outcomes and more on embodiment. How do you want to feel? What habits support that version of you? How does your future self speak to themselves when things don’t go perfectly?
From there, you can begin breaking your goals down into weekly rhythms, and then into small daily actions that support the version of you who has already achieved them. These steps don’t need to be rigid — they simply need to be intentional.
This is what it means to approach goal-setting in alignment with yourself: allowing your goals to support who you’re becoming, not pressure you into becoming someone else.
Brainstorm your ideal self by using adjectives, phrases, and words that convey your ideal state. If this means writing a story, painting a picture, or narrating your life as the future self, then do it. Whatever will allow you to create from a place of inspiration.
How to Check In With Yourself Before Setting Monthly Goals
To settle into this mindset, I encourage you to unwind to become as relaxed as possible before you begin the exercise. Lowering your stress levels will help you envision the life you want for yourself.
Make note of how your body is showing up in the current moment. Set a timer for 10 minutes to do a simple check-in.
What do you notice? Hear? Feel? Taste? What thoughts continue to pop into your head? What emotions follow those feelings? Are you unsettled? Are you annoyed? Restless?
Do this body and emotional check-in for at least 10 minutes, and then journal what came up for you. A simple one-page journal entry will do, where you can reflect on what you’ve experienced. If you have trouble starting, you can try the following prompts:
What’s been heavy for me this month is…
Lately I’ve been thinking about…
If I’m honest, goal setting has felt like…
Monthly Goal Setting Questions to Guide Your Healing Journey
These questions are designed to help you move from self-awareness rather than pressure, and from intention rather than perfection.
Reflecting on the Past Month
- What felt supportive or grounding for me this past month?
- What am I proud of myself for even if no one else saw it?
- What did this month teach me about my needs, limits, or boundaries?
Setting Intentional, Flexible Goals
- If I focused on just one priority, what would feel most aligned?
- What does progress look like for me — without comparison?
- How can I make this goal feel supportive instead of demanding?
Reconnecting With Your Why
- Why does this goal matter to me at this stage of my healing?
- Who am I becoming as I work toward this?
- How can I honor my energy while still staying committed?
Closing With Self-Trust
- What would it look like to trust myself more this month?
- How can I respond with compassion if things don’t go as planned?
- What reminder do I want to return to when I feel discouraged?
Choosing Goals That Support You, Not Overwhelm You
It’s easy to write goals, but often we’re disconnected from them. Choosing goals that support you can look like revising goals mid-way through the month. Perhaps you scrap them entirely. If you do this, congratulations you are honoring yourself and choosing goals that align with you – not force you into acting a certain way.
Another important practice is to remember your ‘why’ in the first place. Why are you writing these goals down? What is the real purpose of it, and how will that impact your life? If you ever feel like you’ve lost touch with yourself, work your way back to the ‘why’ to keep you grounded.
Letting Go of Perfection in Your Monthly Goal Setting Practice
Perfectionism is a lie — and there’s no room for it in a goal-setting practice that’s meant to support your healing. When you set goals, especially on a monthly basis, the most important things to carry with you are grace, safety, and ease.
If you create a goal and don’t reach it, resist the urge to label it as a failure. Instead, reframe it as a soft place to land — one where shame doesn’t exist and learning is allowed.
It’s okay to normalize unfinished goals while still being honest with yourself. Accountability matters, but it doesn’t have to be rooted in pressure or self-criticism. You don’t have to lead by force. You can lead from grounding.
Pause and take note of who you’re becoming, not just what you’re completing. Acknowledge the invisible work — the emotional labor, the unlearning, the small choices that don’t always show up on a checklist.
Revisit your why. Lead with curiosity, self-trust, and flexibility. Healing isn’t a fixed destination — it’s a living, evolving process. And because it’s always in flux, your goals deserve nuance, compassion, and room to change… not perfection.
Conclusion
Goal-setting, when aligned with your healing, should always be a work in progress — something that evolves as you do. It’s meant to offer gentle guidance, not mental overwhelm. Rather than rattling your nervous system, aligned goals should stretch you from a place of love, safety, and inner trust.
How can you reframe your goals in a more supportive way?
